Either you plan to marry or you are a newly married couple, you're facing a dilemma on whether to move out (to buy a house/rent a flat) or to live with parents. You have to make a big decision which can significantly influence your family life, improve relationship with your beloved one or worsen them. You have a choice: 1. to live with your parents 2. to live near your parents 3. to live far from your parents
It's necessarily to consider and compare the pros and cons of each option, taking into account the future consequences of each. Think about the type of parents/in-laws you have. Do you understand each other? Can you say you have sincere relationship? Do they used to solve misunderstanding in a peaceful way? Do you feel comfortable when interacting with them? Can you be yourself near them?
Living apart from parents the couple will get the following advantages: . you will have a chance to develop independently, to express yourself and reach your full potential; . you need time to learn new things, it's much easier to deal with controversial issues, resolve conflicts and set your own way of life; . you will feel yourself free of any restrictions, you will save your private life; for example, you will decide when and where to have sex, what clothes to wear at home; . you will personally decide what to do or not to do (e.g. what a meal to cook, how long to stay in bed in the morning etc.).
The bible says: "...a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh” (Genesis 2:24) Leaving parents for the purpose of marriage does not erase the responsibility to take care of them, visit them, telephone, write them.
Your parents/in-laws ask you to live near them
Your decision should depends on the type of parents you have, current and upcoming circumstances.There is nothing wrong with living close to your parents. It's much easier to help them and communicate with them. Also, if you plan a child in the nearest time, babysitting is very convenient when you have someone close by. On the other hand, more involvement can reduce comfort. Your parents/in-laws are more likely to drop by unannounced and control your family life. If it is not a problem for you, then you can consider living close to them.
Living with parents
If you cannot afford to buy a house and there is a lack of money to rent an apartment, then living together with your parents/in-laws is a practical approach. Living with parents you can save up enough down payment for a house of your own. Staying at parents house has its own advantages and disadvantages. Your parents/in-laws will always have suggestions about different aspects of your married life (what, how, where etc.). Some tips can be very useful, but remember to be conscious and make your own decision on the basis of what would make your partner happy, what is right for your couple. There are parents who used to treat their adult children like babies, they wish things were get done their way, they always want to know what you're doing and where you're going. It tends to drive you crazy. Living with such parents may put pressure on your relationship, increase tension and reduce romance in marriage. In this case, it's better to rent a nearby apartment or a small home; it will allow both of you to maintain independence and save good relationship.
You love your parents, but your couple have you own life and rules. Think twice! It is to be taken seriously.
