What men really mean by the words they say?

Small mistake can course big misunderstanding.

We often hear the following phrases: "beautiful women", "clever women", “beautiful girls”, “such a beautiful girl” and a comparison between them like ”beautiful or clever”, “what's better: to be clever or beautiful?” This question has been haunting me for some time; something was missing in that approach, something was wrong in the comparison: “just clever or just beautiful”. It seems like a woman can not be beautiful and clever at the same time. Because of such stereotype many beautiful women have to prove they have an intelligence and, on the other side, single women with analytical mind, who just haven't had time to meet their mate, every day sit down in front of a mirror to find flaws and imperfections they don't have.

I asked 200 men: “What is considered a beautiful woman?” There was a whole array of different answers: big eyes, small shining eyes, plump lips, small lips, nicely turned out, soft, long hair, short hair, stylish etc. Every man has its own vision of the beautiful forms. What one man finds attractive another man may not. One man's idea of a beautiful woman maybe different to another. Also, there were many men who failed to describe the woman of their dream, they just said: “When I see her I will understand that she is a special one”.

Also, I asked 100 single men (25-40 age group): “What do they mean by the phrase “a clever woman”?” There were many similar answers like this: "There are things to talk about to her". All of them said that they want a wife who is willing to listen to them and engage in conversation with them. You see, men put words “clever” and “comfort” together when they talk about a clever girl. The main characteristics of the best conversationalists are:

• the best listeners,
• ask good questions,
• talk about the other person's interest in a convincing manner.

Moreover, a woman will receive extra points, if his self-esteem is being improved when meeting her in person.

Thus, it is not correct to ask “clever or beautiful” and compare them.

Now, I would like to talk about 5 main things: knowledge, external beauty, internal beauty, charm and wisdom.

Every person has each of them in different proportions. The level of knowledge can be checked with a theoretical and practical exam. External beauty is perceived by the eyes. Internal beauty is perceived by the heart. Charm is a particular quality that can attract both the eyes and the heart, or just one of them. Charm basically goes from inside to outside. It's a pity that mass-media missed wisdom on its pages. It is one of the most important, useful and profitable things in our life. It is known that wisdom is the result of experience. At the same time, wisdom is based on the following our intuition, personal priorities and working on the personal character. That is why we can meet wise people of all ages.

Beauty, charm and wisdom are always evolving, based on what a person considers right or wrong, personal experience, likes and dislikes, personal intelligence and what a culture considers valuable. Nevertheless, I would like to define the priority importance of each of these traits and characteristics for life, as I see it:

. knowledge, wisdom, charm (optional) + external beauty (in some activities of a business, e.g. in a modeling career) -> a successful career;

. wisdom, internal beauty, charm (optional) -> happy family

. knowledge, wisdom, internal beauty + charm (optional), external beauty (in some types of businesses) -> happy family relationship and success in your career

If a woman is open-minded, feel good about herself, really love the world (the most important thing) and doesn't hide all of these characteristics behind a mask. She will radiate positive energy, what we call a charm. Communication with such a woman makes people feel themselves more happy. She shares her sunny energy with others. As a result they love her and need her again and again. I know girls who haven't perfect features according to media standards, but it's a great pleasure to talk to them and I feel comfortable near them.

External beauty (physical attractiveness) is a natural thing. Our facial features (proportions and sizes) are almost unchangeable. Some men will like it, some won't. When we're going to buy apples, we choose the most beautiful. But we make our conclusion about the quality of the fruit and decide whether to eat it or not just at first bite. The same picture is in our life: external beauty is the first thing that attracts us. Business relationships are superficial and surface; here, the priority values are knowledge, smartness, ambition, sociability, persistence, and beauty is your additional advantage. Long-lasting family relationships exist thanks to communication between hearts. If there is nothing inside, then the outside gets boring pretty fast. Moreover, external beauty fades. If a man is looking for just a body, later he is going to look somewhere else. But your charm is forever, because the core of the charm is your heart and mind - your personality. Charm has much more power over people and we can improve it all our life. "Charm is a way of getting the answer yes without asking a clear question", - Albert Camus. Additionally to charm, if you try to be wise in relationship, you will likely receive all you want. Living together put our cards on the table, creates different unpredictable situations, that can be successfully solved with the help of wisdom. According to my personal observations, a charming wise girl has much more chances for a success in relationships than just a beautiful one.

Don't regret about a man who put outer beauty in the top of his person's list of what he wants in a mate. They are usually not serious about relationship and doesn't have plans for long-lasting relationships. As a result, infidelity is not that far. Also, there are young men (20-30 age group) who need serious relationships, but make a wrong choice because of absence of family experience and understanding the difference between dating relationship and family life. Many of them get divorced in a couple of years and start looking for their soulmate with a full understanding of what they need in their future marriage partner.